Episode 66. Client Spotlight: Thought Leadership & Being a Leader for Introverts with Jennifer Ho

Today, we have one of my clients, Jennifer Ho, share how she developed her unique thought leadership and is now making waves as a life coach for introverts.

Jennifer guides introverts to be confident and charismatic leaders of their lives. She specializes in helping them navigate difficult situations, make decisions that feel good, and speak up for what matters most to them. All of this in the most introverted way possible – because that’s how they’re meant to be.

You can find Jennifer on Instagram at @byjenniferho to learn more about her 1:1 coaching program, or you can visit her website.

Jennifer also has a free “Visit My Brain Self-coaching Workshop” which provides a glimpse into her brain on how she navigates self-coaching.

In This Episode:

Jennifer’s own lived experiences as an introvert led her to become a life coach for fellow introverts
Jennifer’s unique thought leadership
How Jennifer started to really acknowledge who she is as an introvert
Becoming a leader for introverts
Her decision to become a life coach for introverts
How Jennifer coached her client to create and attract business opportunities, when they once felt that being an introvert was a disadvantage
Why Jennifer decided to work with Cheryl
Self-coaching and visiting Jennifer’s brain
Biggest business wins and why energy is everything
Fun questions: BLACKPINK, travel and food!

Jennifer’s own lived experiences as an introvert led her to become a life coach for fellow introverts

Cheryl:

I am really excited to bring on one of our amazing clients, Jennifer. I want to start off with a brief backstory as to why I really wanted to have Jennifer on the show this week, because she’s actually hosting an event really soon.

I was really inspired by how she was talking about it and explaining the different concepts about this particular workshop. I wanted to have Jennifer on to share more about her thought process behind the workshop that’s coming up soon and also dive into Jennifer’s brain. To learn more about her stance on what she does.

For another fun story, before we get started, we actually tried to record this episode earlier today.

Today is a Sunday and right now it’s a little bit late for me. But the reason we’re doing it really late is because when we tried to record this episode earlier, my neighbors were doing some massive renovations on a Sunday morning. Unfortunately, we had to stop recording 15 or 20 minutes into the recording.

But no worries, we found another time. One of the very, very, very rare situations where I am “working” on a Sunday night.

Anyway this is a really fun and important conversation and I cannot wait to dive in.

Jennifer, could you please tell us a bit more about who you are and what you do?

Jennifer:

Thanks, Cheryl. Thanks for having me on. I’m a life coach for introverts. I guide introverts to become confident and charismatic leaders of their lives.

I want to do this because I think the only way possible for an introvert to feel confident and charismatic is to do everything in the most introverted way possible, because that’s how they’re meant to be.

Cheryl:

Amazing. So I think the next natural question is why introverts?

Jennifer:

For me, as an introvert myself, I felt really alone, growing up in this extroverted world.

And I actually think that the world is so extroverted by default, just because of a bunch of assumptions people made a long time ago. And that there are a lot of introverts who don’t even realize they’re introverted.

So this kind of started out with me kind of looking for the community that I would want to be in and I didn’t quite find it. And I’m basically on a mission to make the world more introverted, by helping introverts embrace themselves and learn more about themselves.

Because every introvert I meet or sometimes someone I think is an extrovert who starts to learn about introversion, they’re like, “Wait, this is me.”. And they’ve also felt really alone trying to survive in this world and not really understanding why they didn’t feel like they belong, even though they did everything to fit in.

Cheryl:

I think that introduction into what you do really did resonate with me personally, because I would say, I myself, am an introvert.

Perhaps over the years, since starting the business, I might have shifted more towards an extroverted introvert. But I definitely would say I feel like I identify as an introvert.

I would love to know more about your perspectives on introverts, and their views on belonging, loneliness, success, all those things. We’ll dive more into that in a bit.

Jennifer’s unique thought leadership

Cheryl:

Let’s segue into the main focus for this episode, which is your unique thought leadership, or that’s how I like to call it.

Before we do that, Jennifer, if you had to define the word thought leadership, how would you describe it?

Jennifer:

I would say, maybe this is oversimplifying it, but it’s leading with our thoughts, right, sharing our ideas or opinions and stories. And I think what makes it leadership is the intention of helping other people.

Definitely, for me, I had this assumption that I had to know I was about before it could be a thought leader. Until I put it into practice, I couldn’t figure out what I was about until I started sharing.

Cheryl:

Yes, yes, yes, I definitely could see that. That was a struggle. I had to navigate in the last year as well, when I started really leaning into the concept of thought leadership and starting to understand how I am already a thought leader.

Jennifer, let’s talk about your unique thought leadership. If you have to give an overview of your unique thought leadership, or the messages that really represent what you do, how would you describe that?

Jennifer:

I frame my unique thought leadership around this one sentence: Introverts are meant to be confident and charismatic, and we can do it without the fake extraversion.

But behind that, what I think is that being confident and charismatic really doesn’t have anything to do with being introverted, or being extroverted. It’s really about being real, and grounding in our own wants and needs, and then asking or setting the boundaries for it as we need to.

For me, I didn’t realize I was doing this, but I started with really small things, kind of tiny ways to rebel, like I would.

One story I remember, there was this family wedding that we all needed to go to. I told my mom, I didn’t want to go, because I was going to be so tired from the loud and busy environment, and I wouldn’t have fun. That didn’t pan out well, because it’s mom, and it’s a family event.

But I didn’t give up. I kind of carried that into adulthood too. As I became more independent and as I gained more experience at work, I started to say things like, “I just had back to back meetings. So this is why my calendar is blocked out here because I need that time to rest and recharge.”.

And then, if someone comes to me with a difficult conversation or topic, I let them know, “I heard you, I’m here to listen, but I’m going to need some time to process before I get back to you.”

And it’s in those small moments that by standing up for myself that I realize that it’s okay to be introverted. And most of the time, nothing happened. People were cool about it.

These asks weren’t that big and I didn’t have to pretend that I was okay with how everything went. And that’s kind of how I came to feel in charge of my own life and how I created my own feelings of confidence and charisma.

How Jennifer started to really acknowledge who she is as an introvert

Cheryl:

Now that makes me really curious about before you started to really acknowledge who you are and the natural, innate qualities you have.

How would events like that pan out where you didn’t stand up for yourself or speak up or stand firm in your natural introverted qualities? What will usually happen if introverts cave into feeling like you have to, for example, fake extroverted-cism, if that’s the proper term.

Jennifer:

Yeah, I think a prominent example would be moments in school, right? I really don’t think school is designed in a way that’s conducive to introvert style learning. Because we have to basically learn in a group, there’s so much stimulation in the classroom.

And I remember feeling so ashamed for being quiet and keeping to myself at school, because of what other people said. On my report cards, the only feedback I got was, “She could speak up more.”. And I felt really bad about myself for that.

I don’t really remember when it started. But probably as early as age five, I started to feel this heavy cloud following me around and telling me what to do to make sure that I wasn’t being too introverted. And it never really felt good.

Maybe this applies specifically to high achieving introverts, but I wanted to do really well in school. I didn’t want that on my report card. That was the biggest thing to me back then.

So I would find myself forcing myself to be louder in the classroom, and interrupting other people to get a word in. And not only did I not like myself, I started to be really resentful of other people that I had to live this way.

I think that being fake or pretending we do that so that we meet other people’s expectations, so that we fit in, so that we belong, but when we’re being fake, we end up kind of alienating ourselves, right? And that’s pretty lonely.

Cheryl:

That actually reminds me of a metaphor that you would use, aka plants.

Could you share that analogy or metaphor with us? How would you showcase this particular story, from the perspective or storytelling of a plant? I think the audience would be really curious to know more about that particular metaphor.

Jennifer:

So this metaphor came about as I started to collect a bunch of house plans. And in taking care of them, I realized that anytime I did something wrong, they would tell me.

So if I put a plant in direct sunlight for too long, or if I overwater it, it’s going to tell me it disapproves. It’s going to either droop its leaves, or turn the leaves brown. And sometimes it just dies.

Along that same line for introverts to over extrovert, that forced behavior makes us miserable, even if things look great on the outside. And I think fake plants look great, right? But they aren’t alive, and they don’t feel anything. So that’s where that analogy came from.

Cheryl:

I love that analogy, because it really reminded me of how it is so important to really nurture these particular qualities and respect them also.

So thank you so much Jennifer for sharing that particular metaphor. I think it really is a really unique way of demonstrating what you’re all about, like the stance you have in terms of the coaching that you provide to your clients and how you lead your audience by example.

Becoming a leader for introverts

Cheryl:

So I actually want to segue into how you’re currently showing up in your business and for your people, your community here on the Internet.

I really want to understand more about how you even got to this point in your business journey in life, where you are basically a leader for introverts.

What was the backstory behind why you do what you do in your business specifically?

Jennifer:

I mentioned earlier how I was looking for a community that I didn’t have, right. And as I tried to make friends, I made friends who are more like me, and over time, I have built up this community.

And I don’t think I really plan for it to be this way. Because if we rewind to a year ago, honestly, I didn’t know that I was going to start a coaching business.

I had first looked into a business thinking about money and diversifying my income because you know 2020 is the pandemic. And people around me were losing their jobs and closing down their brick and mortar businesses. So I dove in thinking that I would just make money.

And I looked into digital products, e-commerce, I even did a little Kickstarter, where I made plant stickers, and I called it “I’m an indoor plant”. But then I realized I didn’t like packing and shipping.

And so three months into that research and discovery journey, I realized money no longer motivated me. And I fell really deep into the world of online coaching.

I was so fascinated that we can start these online businesses that are so meaningful, and it was definitely a purpose driven thing. But I didn’t quite know what was special about me, I guess, that I could actually teach others.

I remember telling you specifically that I just know, I have this light and joy that I’ve created in my life that I want to share with others. And I don’t know how to do that yet.

It’s definitely through our work together that I honed in on this thought leadership, right? You guided me and encouraged me to keep speaking up and to experiment to see what is really my purpose.

So for anyone who’s in a rush, trying to figure that out, just take your own time, you will figure it out.

Every question Cheryl asked me, every worksheet she gave me, every piece of homework she assigned, I honestly didn’t complete all of it. But the fact that it was there, I was able to see that I had all these options.

And my brain started to do the work. Like I’m creative. We’re all creative. So by showing up on a regular basis, and continuing to talk, and specifically, I chose Instagram Stories, video stories.

I have to say if I didn’t show up almost every day last year to say something, I wouldn’t have figured out that this was my message.

Cheryl:

And let me tell you, everyone, Jennifer has a lot of things to say.

Literally every single thing that comes out her mouth is very valuable, especially to her people.

That’s actually how I personally personally like to view thought leadership is that when you believe in something so much, which you do, almost everything that is going to come out your mouth is going to be of value, even the energy in which you show up, or the way you carry yourself on Instagram stories, that is also being an example as possible for your people.

So that’s why it has just been so fascinating to see your way of showing up, and how you’re basically not afraid to tap into your innate qualities as an introvert, and really showcase why you want to help your people not have to feel like they have to be a fake extrovert.

And the reason I wanted to touch on that here is because I think that a lot of people listening to this are likely to identify as introverts as well. I find that I tend to attract a lot of audience members and listeners of the show, who also think that they would classify themselves as introverts.

So that’s why I really wanted to have Jennifer on the show today, because I want to show everyone here that you can be a thought leader in your space. No matter who you are, no matter what you think you are, no matter what you feel like you have to be.

I really want Jennifer here to show us that you can be yourself and be a thought leader and help people while sharing your honest thoughts, and leading by example, and also make money along the way.

So that being said, throughout the past year or so, you started your business in 2021, were there any specific doubts or hesitations that you had to navigate during the process of honing in on what message that you want to be known for? What is your unique thought leadership?

And how did you navigate those doubts or limiting beliefs that you might have about yourself as a thought leader?

Jennifer:

So I think one of my limiting beliefs was kind of a tricky one, because it wasn’t as straightforward as I’m not worthy, or I’m not good enough.

But it was that there are people who are better equipped to do this than me and that made me feel really small. And that was making myself feel that way.

And I don’t really know how many times it took. But you have told me so often that I’m the example for my people. Now I know that I’m doing that, because I’ve actually just done it.

It took so much to get it into my head that I’m the change, I want to see that the way I lead my life is unique. So I really had to confront what really was my problem there.

In our work together, as we dug for what’s different for me, to develop my thought leadership, I realized that when I’m considering the question, “What is it about the way I live that’s different from other people?”

By calling unique is kind of like this nice, shiny vibe, but it still means different. And different, is how I realized I was kind of uncomfortable with that. Because when I highlight what’s different, and share my stories, ideas and experience around that, I’m basically setting myself apart.

Even though that’s what I want, it’s scary. And it comes back to feeling lonely, because it clashes with my need to feel like I’m part of something bigger, like I belong somewhere.

And I guess that’s kind of what leadership is. Being willing to stand out from the crowd. But the funny thing is, introverts choose to fake being extroverted in the first place, to want to feel that sense of belonging.

When I connected that together, that’s when I had the sense of, oh, I’m standing out so that my people can find me, this loneliness is temporary.

When I got to that perspective, it was much more comforting. But I don’t know if I would have recognized that if I didn’t keep showing up.

At first, I thought showing up on video is scary, or posting my words on the blog is scary. But those skills are actually the easiest part.

Cheryl:

Yeah, the skills like the action, so to speak, is the easier part. But the real work is really the inner work.

And really, how do you view yourself? What do you think of yourself? How would you describe yourself? How are you talking to yourself? All of that is the tough, tough work of not just being an entrepreneur who shows up on the Internet, but also just as a human being in general.

Jennifer, if you had one message that you want to share to the listeners, right now, who would identify as an introvert, who were in your shoes, basically, who felt like they had something to share, but because they feel like they are not extroverted enough, they feel like they’re not this way. And that’s why they feel that they don’t think they can be an entrepreneur. I don’t think I can do this. What’s one message you might say to the introvert or entrepreneur listening to this right now?

Jennifer:

For me, whenever I think that I’m not good enough, I try to put it in the context of why, right? And usually the why is because I think someone else was better or it’s really not taking an objective look at what I’m actually capable of. It’s me comparing myself to other people. And that’s really not fair.

That’s not good data to base anything off of. So after that, I would probably ask myself, okay, where did you get this idea from? That these people are better than you? And if I think it’s because being extroverted is better, I’m going to question myself, is that really true?

Because imagine if the world was 100% extroverted, what would be missing? I think a lot of stuff would be missing. And I kind of ground myself in that.

Cheryl:

What would be missing? I will be missing, you will be missing.

I feel like that is a really a very profound question. I love that.

Her decision to become a life coach for introverts

Cheryl:

Now that you mentioned that. I’m actually really curious to know why life coaching? Or more specifically, let me rephrase that.

I want to understand more. Why do you do what you do as a life coach for introverts?

Why do you believe that life coaching can help introverted entrepreneurs or just introverted individuals in general, live their best life? How does life coaching fit into the picture here?

Jennifer:

Yeah, so for most of us, we went through life being told what to do, right? Either by our parents, by teachers, and then we grew up and then the society and bosses at work. There’s a lot of pressure there.

And in coaching, it’s where I carve out space for clients to be present with their lives, all of it, not just what’s on their mind at that moment.

It’s space for them to take a deeper look at themselves. And really take an honest look and face where have I held myself back? Or where am I getting in my own way?

I think there’s many ways that I can support introverts, but life coaching is how I think I can make the biggest impact because I’m playing to my strengths, right? One on one conversations, being able to hold space for one person at a time, the way that I analyze or hear people, and what kind of questions I can ask them and what kind of perspective I can give. I really feel like I’m meant to do this personally.

And that’s kind of why I think that’s my gift to the world.

And I lost my train of thought, but I don’t want this edited out, because I want to normalize that. It’s okay to take your time to process.

Yeah, I think coaching in particular is just special, because where else in our lives do we create space for that right? To say that, hey, something is not right and I want to change. That’s huge.

I also see life as, like for all of us, this is our very first life. It’s really our only life. So by default, whether it feels like it or not, this is our best life. And I want everyone to feel like it is their best life.

Cheryl:

I think you shared many very profound thoughts just now.

But if I had to pick my favorite part of what you just shared, it has to be that comment of “I don’t want this edited out.”

A lot of people listening to this episode right now might think, wow, that is brave. I would also say that , sure, it’s brave.

But I would also say that Jennifer is just standing up for what introverts are like, as you just mentioned, there are so many ways of processing information, of consolidating our thoughts and ideas, right?

And I think that I think the reason why I want to segue into this for a little bit right now is because I think a lot of people listening to the podcast may have assumptions about Cheryl as a podcast host.

Like how I might be really fluid in the way I speak. Or they might have assumptions about, this is the way to be on the podcast or speak on the podcast or explain your thought processes.

But I really love that Jennifer stood firm and said, nope, I don’t want this edit it out. Because I know that people need to see that this is okay. And I completely respect and I love that.

So I really want to just take a moment to acknowledge that and say thank you for being who you are.

One thing I’d like to say to my audience is that when we show up as who we are, we give permission to other people to be who they are as well. Because if we don’t embrace who we are, and we try to edit things out, how can others feel safe enough to be who they are in this world as well.

So I really want to just take a moment to really marinate in what Jennifer just said.

So thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much.

One thought that came to mind as you were sharing that about life coaching is I want you to share, if you’re okay with sharing it, what is one of your favorite transformations that you’ve seen from your clients through life coaching?

How Jennifer coached her client to create and attract business opportunities, when they once felt that being an introvert was a disadvantage

Jennifer:

So I have this client who came to me from the very start, she said, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I feel like everything is wrong with me. And she felt like she just couldn’t do anything right in her life, because she’s introverted. And that extroverts were getting all the opportunities that she wanted in her career, and that she wasn’t being chosen, because she’s introverted.

That really broke my heart, but I also really related. And that prompted me to think about, how do I get past that, because I know I’ve been turned down for jobs because someone thought I was too introverted, because people have this assumption. So in my day job, I’m a digital marketer. And people assume that you have to be extroverted and outgoing to be good at marketing.

But the funny thing is, the work I do isn’t even customer facing, it’s all creative, quiet work. So I asked my client, if she thought that was true, I think that might be my favorite question to challenge my clients thoughts.

But I asked her if she really thought it’s true that extroverts are better than her or more deserving than her. And she couldn’t answer me. But it gave her a lot of thinking and reflection to do.

And as we built up our relationship, I was able to challenge her more. Because I knew that it was kind of coming from a place of resentment and anger, right. And that’s a hard place to get out of. And then when it comes to jobs and money if you don’t have any, how can you live life, right?

So yeah, just kind of recalling this memory breaks my heart. But now my client is in a place where she’s found her own way. She’s doing freelance projects, and people are coming to her. And people like that she’s not this loud person when they hire her, because she’s actually there to listen.

Talking about now I can’t believe that she went from, you know, everything is wrong with me to this person who is doing her own thing and isn’t even worried about looking for jobs anymore, because she doesn’t have to. Because she created another way for herself.

And when she created this other way, this other space, where she could be her full introverted self, naturally, she started to feel more confident and charismatic.

Cheryl:

As someone listening to your client’s transformation, I feel like I got a little bit emotional on the inside.

And I am sure that the listener, who is tuning into this episode right now can also feel the emotion behind Jennifer’s voice right now, as she’s telling the story about her client transformations.

And that just goes to show the immense power or the immense value of what we do, and how when we truly lean into who we are, we can help people.

I think for Jennifer here, not only did her client lean into who she was, and she could help her people. Jennifer, literally the exact same thing, by tapping into who she is, she was able to help her clients. And I think this particular example just really exemplifies that.

So I’m really glad that you were able to share this with us.

Why Jennifer decided to work with Cheryl

Cheryl:

Now that we’re talking about tapping into who we are, I would actually like to turn our attention to perhaps our time together, Jennifer. I’m really curious why you decided to work with me inside one of my programs?

Jennifer:

Once I fell in love with online coaching, I started to look into business coaches. But for a moment there, I put it off, because I was really turned off by the messaging around making money quickly. And also having to quit your job to be an entrepreneur. It didn’t make me feel good.

Your messaging was a complete opposite of that, as a side hustle coach. And I think one of the things that stood out to me was making a full time income on part time hours. That resonated with me a lot because I’ve always been the kind of person who does in a few hours what it takes others a day to do.

And I was vaguely aware of that before, but I didn’t realize I could just go ahead and put in less hours instead of working a whole 40 hours right.

Your messaging woke me up. I’m because I realized everything was always about the lifestyle piece for me, of spending less time working and making money so that I can spend more time living my life.

But I didn’t decide to work with you until I was personally in your presence in a Clubhouse room.

And for everyone listening clubhouse is an all audio social platform that was really popular at the end of 2020 and early 2021. So before that chat, I think I followed you for maybe two weeks.

But I went in there thinking well, I’m in this room with people with a bunch of followers. I think at the time, I maybe had like 25. So based on that metric alone, I was already comparing myself and worried.

But you made me feel really comfortable, I felt really seen and heard and acknowledged. After that I basically fangirled and I read all your posts, I’ve binged through your podcasts, and I read your entire website.

Because one, I felt so drawn to you, but two, I also couldn’t wrap my head around having a simple business. It challenged everything that I know and do in my day job and my career. And I was thinking, well, shit, I have to unlearn everything to make this happen.

Cheryl:

That is so funny. I honestly was not expecting that answer. But that’s so funny. But thank you so much for sharing that.

I think my take away from what you just shared is that you mentioned how my presence made you feel acknowledged.

I think that just goes to show when we, for example, one of my natural gifts or just characteristics is I really want to take the time to welcome others and help others feel like they belong.

Because for me personally, loneliness was something I struggled with, in my personal life, especially growing up, and throughout university and even afterwards.

So I think I wanted to touch on that because it really relates back to what Jennifer was saying earlier about how when we really lean into who we are, that helps people.

Another takeaway I got from what Jennifer just said, was also messaging and how that can really resonate with your people. One thing for Jennifer is that, because her messaging is so painfully honest, you know, fake extrovert, that’s painful.

I think when we really have marketing or messaging that’s painfully honest, or just honest. I think that that can really land for your people and that’s really important.

That’s something that Jennifer and I both really believe in. It’s just being very honest, and the messages that we share and the kind of marketing that we use to share about our work and how we can help people.

So I really love that you shared that. Thank you so much for sharing why you decided to work with me.

Self-coaching and visiting Jennifer’s brain

Cheryl:

Now I want to pivot to a completely different topic about how people can work with you. More specifically, you have a workshop coming up.

For anyone who’s listening to this episode, in real time, when it’s first published, Jennifer has a workshop coming up very, very soon. Could you please tell us a bit more about that workshop.

Jennifer:

For anyone who’s listening later on, I’m recording this workshop as well. If you want it, just reach out to me.

I’m hosting a workshop this week. I’m calling it “Visit my brain”. And the topic is self coaching.

Self coaching and getting coached are both ways to work on mindset. But I know not everyone has access to coaching. So I wanted to share it in a way that helps people get started on their own.

I really think the world would be a better place if everybody got coached. And I think learning to self coach is like your DIY solution.

But jokes aside, I have really struggled to self coach. I’m super self aware. Often I’m painfully aware of how things aren’t working, but I just don’t feel like doing anything about it.

And because I had a hard time learning how to self coach, I thought, okay, why not show people the exact process and actually visit my brain and see how that goes.

They can actually have a party with the voices in my head. And for me, it’s really the most honest and transparent way I have to invite my community to relate to me and learn from me. But also wanting to make sure that this space is welcoming to introverts. That’s why I am pushing out cozy and laid back vibes so that both my audience and myself can just show up and come as we are.

I think you prompted me and inspired me to come up with this workshop in two ways. Cheryl lovingly called me out that I wasn’t showing up as a coach. So I’m like, yeah, she’s right, I have to do something about that.

But she also pointed out that I really like events. And I think I like them. Because everything comes together in my head when it’s framed as an event, because once I made a decision to host this workshop, I knew exactly what to do.

And before that, I was thinking about, like, oh, what are all the steps that it’s going to take for me to show up as a coach. But once I decided to host this event, I just knew how to show up.

And I think sometimes, the way regular workshops are set up, we try to teach people in a way where we’ve only simplified what we’ve done so much, that the nuances and little details that can actually be really helpful aren’t there.

Because I think that’s what I was missing when I was first introduced to self coaching. Like the CTFAR model. For one. I didn’t click for me until I saw your personal examples.

But even then, I was like, I’ll just wait until we’re on a call. And I’ll wait to get coached. And so when I was thinking about it, I realized I had all these assumptions about self coaching that were in my way.

One of the biggest things with the CTFAR model was I had to do it in order, I had to fill the C first and the C is a circumstance. And even though I don’t like rules, I’ve always followed them and done them in order.

So finally, one day I was messaging you, I think I was spinning out about taking a vacation. And you suggested a reverse model, where we started with the R, the result first and went backwards. And that just kind of broke my brain.

So from then on, whenever I got stuck self-coaching, I would dig deeper and ask like, okay, where am I really getting stuck here? Because it’s pretty straightforward. I know how to coach so I should be able to self-coach.

Yeah, so PSA everyone, not all things have to be done in order. The CTFAR model doesn’t need to be done in order you can start at the R, the T, the A, wherever you want. And I think that can apply to a lot of things in life, too.

Cheryl:

That’s so funny, I love that you refresh my memory on that. That conversation we had a while back about self coaching.

And for those who are listening and may not know the self coaching model, the CTF AR model. So that was created by Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach School.

But I know that many, many coaches and entrepreneurs, including myself, have, you know, learned about the model from The Life Coach School, and we have interpreted it in our own ways.

I’ve seen Jennifer redefine self coaching in her own way, which is why she’s creating this workshop for her people very, very soon. And that’s exactly why I was super inspired and call to invite Jennifer onto the show today, because I think it was really brilliant and creative, the way you have really took a concept and a tool and made it work for you. I thought that was just incredible. And I cannot wait for people to go to your workshop, whether live or on replay, and learn more about that tool from your perspective.

Biggest business wins and why energy is everything

Cheryl:

So now I want to talk a little bit about how you’ve been in your business for almost a year now. Less than a year from what I understand. From your perspective, what are your biggest wins so far in your business? And maybe what do you think contributed to those wins?

Jennifer:

So my absolute biggest win, I would say, is that I really really love myself. And I know that’s not like a conventional business win, but seriously on a scale of like one to 100 my self love grew from 65 to 85 and that’s not like a letter grade A but I’m giving myself room to grow.

Yes, starting this business, truly from a place of intention, purpose and love put me on some other plane of existence. I I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like I’ve grown more than I have in the past year than I have in my entire life.

And I celebrate every single day that I started, I’ll walk, I’ll see my reflection somewhere. And I’ll just nod at myself. And then I approve myself, like you’re the coach for introverts. You’re a leader of introverts. You’re an entrepreneur. And that’s my definite biggest win.

Cheryl:

I love that. I love that your sense of identity and self concept has really just evolved so much since we first connected. And it’s just incredible to see you so committed to the messages that you believe in.

I know I’ve said the same things over and over again, in this episode, how Jennifer leads by example, how she really leads into who she is. But that is exactly why Jennifer is making a mark in her specific niche and for her specific people.

Because she’s so committed to leading into who she is, and sharing those messages that she really believes in for herself and for her people and sharing the painfully honest things that she believes in. Right.

That’s why I intentionally emphasize these phrases throughout the entire conversation so far.

In terms of wins, from what I understand, you also have some wins externally as well, I want to celebrate that as well. So could you tell us more besides the internal shifts in terms of identity and self concept, what else has happened?

Jennifer:

So, a really fun thing that taught me about energy is I signed my first paying client, after confidently declaring I’m a coach on Instagram. Really all the energy behind putting, I think at the time, a coach for creatives, on my Instagram. That was it. That’s how I drew in and attracted my first paying client.

I didn’t have any content on my feed. My Instagram stories were half baked at that time. The only thing I had was 100% the energy of, “I decide I’m doing this, I’m a coach.” And that’s what I learned. Everything is energy, and energy is everything.

Just like how I said I had to unlearn everything I knew about business and marketing. That was the first piece of evidence that I’m like, wow, this is working.

So I officially did that in May 2021. And it wasn’t until last week that I published my website. I think that’s another win because a digital marketer ran an online business for nine months without a website.

I also don’t have a logo or brand style guide, or any of the things that we’ve been taught are important. I feel so unstoppable. And I recognize myself as the primary asset of my business, basically.

Cheryl:

I love that so much. That just goes to show how when I try not to repeat myself too much here. But when we really understand who we are, and we embrace the qualities that make up who we are, and are our natural gifts and strengths. And we use that to help people.

Also to repeat myself for like the 50th time this episode, when we lead by our honest messages and unique thought leadership and the messages that we really believe in, that can sign you clients. That can help people. That can make you money. But more importantly make an impact in this world. I love that so, so much.

To start to round out this conversation. I want to just touch on thoughts. Specifically, I think you said it was nine months or so since you started.

In the past nine months, what were your favorite thoughts that really helped you in your business from the earlier months in your journey? And what are your favorite thoughts now, nine or so months later?

Jennifer:

Throughout last year, I would definitely say my favorite thought was “I’m just getting started”.

Second to that is probably “Business gets to be simple”.

These thoughts really allowed me to have a lot of compassion towards myself. They’re both focused on how to do what I need to do. And that really helped me take all the actions I needed to relieve the pressure of feeling like I needed it to be like Cheryl’s level of thought leadership or something like that.

And now coming into this new year, my next level identity, I’m going to channel the thought, I’m a fucking badass. This one’s a bit contradictory because I think it’s kind of loud for an introvert. And also, I have this intention of creating feelings of feeling really safe and gentle this year.

But I realized it’s only when I’m safe, that I feel gentle. And when I’m a badass, I feel really safe. Because I’m in the presence of myself; someone who can protect me and create that safety.

And the evidence that I’m using to back up this thought is that we’re living in a culture where it’s rebellious to rest, it’s rebellious to work less hours, it’s rebellious to opt out of the hustle, right? It’s also rebellious not to choose one thing to do.

And so in my own way, like when I fly out of state for a day trip, so that I can come back and sleep in my own bed, or when I block out entire weekends to myself, and don’t even let my mom in. And when I take a vacation every three months, I’m going against the grain. And that makes me a badass. It makes me feel powerful, because it’s about who I am and who I’m choosing to be

Cheryl:

Incredible. Such good thoughts. So whoever’s listening to us right now, if you just heard some thoughts that you want to borrow from Jennifer, please borrow them and thank them over and over and over again. Really, I mean it.

Fun questions: BLACKPINK, travel and food!

Cheryl:

But anyways, okay, the last question I want to ask today is a fun one.

I want to learn more about your favorite food, music artists.

Tell us what your favorite food is. Let’s go for like five different things. Favorite food. Go!

Jennifer:

Oh, my favorite food is… No, this is hard for me!

My favorite dessert is ice cream. And I specifically like tea flavored and coffee flavored ice creams. Those are not too sweet.

Cheryl:

Awesome. Favorite music artists? Go.

Jennifer:

BLACKPINK. Yeah. Because they’re badass. Yeah.

Cheryl:

Love it. What about favorite vibes?

Jennifer:

Cozy.

Cheryl:

Mmmm love it! What about your favorite hobbies/interests?

Jennifer:

Watching Kdramas, playing video games, reading web comics.

But like I do them in phases. So I’m never doing all three at once.

Cheryl:

And finally, places you want to visit.

Jennifer:

Okay, for this year, Vancouver and Singapore, and I hope it comes true.

And then maybe next year, I’m thinking of Greece as a place that I’ve never been before. And one place I want to come back to is Japan.

Cheryl:

Awesome. Well, thank you so much for participating in our super quick, rapid fire, get-to-know-Jennifer questions.

Jennifer, thank you so much for this conversation today. Thank you for being an example of what’s possible to your people. And think you were just being who you are. And by proxy that is a value to your people.

Thank you so much. Finally to really round out this episode, where can people find you? And how can people work with you?

Jennifer:

People can find me on Instagram at @byjenniferho, and my website byjenniferho.com.

And by is spelled B-Y, like made by, created by. I also exist on LinkedIn and Twitter. But I really live on Instagram. There’s really only one simple way to work with me and that’s through my one on one coaching program that I call “Take Root”.

It’s called “Take Root” because I think that I really wanted to make this program about grounding yourself. Also to play off like kind of a pun with plants, and how they have an inner wisdom about how to take care of themselves and being in tune with their needs.

I wanted my clients to tune into themselves and take root so that they can live their lives. I want them to feel at home with themselves so that they’re never lonely and will do the work like self discovery or know what matters most to you.

But really it’s about creating that feeling where you can embrace your natural introverted self.

Cheryl:

Incredible, awesome. So thank you, Jennifer, for being here and talking to us today about everything that you stand for.

And thank you everyone else for being here and tuning into this episode. I really appreciate you all for being here and I’ll see you in the next one.

Bye everyone.