In this Q&A episode, we’ll touch on topics such as work life balance examples, how to be a successful solopreneur, and other stressors that come with building a successful online coaching business.
Today, we are answering the questions you all have asked me about being a chill AF solopreneur. This is Part 4 of a 4-Part series where we focus on how you too can build a chill AF solopreneur business and lifestyle.
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Alright, let’s dive right into the first question.
When I feel like something in my business is off, the question I always root back to is: What’s the most quintessentially YOU thing that you could do in your business right now? What is the most Cheryl thing I can do in my business right now? And then I’ll go do exactly that.
For example, I recently created a brand new way of working together after finding myself caught up in the marketing shoulds and should nots. I was finding myself struggling to break out of what I think I should be saying in my marketing.
Overall, I was starting to feel drained and just tired.
I want to first acknowledge that this isn’t the fault of “marketing”. It’s not that marketing is inherently a draining, stifling business activity that you need to do in order to grow your business.
But rather, It was ME who was stuck in the thought loop of I “need” to do marketing in XYZ way.
To help myself break out of this loop, I decided to spend the next month or so just doing the most Cheryl things possible in my business.
This is why my brand new offer, COWORK & CHILL with Cheryl (CCC) was born.
CCC is the most “Cheryl” offer I could possibly create. It is a quintessentially Cheryl thing to do. Why? Because the offer is oriented in my superpowers, such as:
I’ve also seen time and time again that when clients are in my presence, they get A LOT of things DONE. As a result, my confidence in our CCC client results and program delivery is off the charts. I’m confident that if you join CCC, you WILL meet the program’s objectives and goals.
And you know what happened after I made the decision to create and offer the most Cheryl way of working together? I once again stepped into a state of mind where I had no qualms with marketing.
Because again, it wasn’t marketing that was the problem, but it was the constraints I placed around my marketing.
A simple perspective shift allowed me to not only break out of that thought cycle, but it also allowed me to stretch my creativity and literally create something that, frankly, is very, very unique to me and my brand. And something I’m 1000% confident in delivery for clients.
To harp on the topic of marketing a little bit more, over the years, I’ve worked with several business or marketing/sales coaches and mentors. Based on their teaching philosophy, most of them will probably look at my current positioning and messaging for CCC and advise me to give it a complete overhaul.
For example, some might suggest infusing a measurable program result into my marketing, such as “sign 4- or 5-figure clients” or “grow a 6-figure business”. Others might argue that “coworking with Cheryl” is simply not a skill that clients would want to learn and hence invest in. Heck, it’s not even a skill.
Or maybe they would say that “COWORK & CHILL with Cheryl” is not “clear” as it doesn’t immediately convey to the audience what results they’ll get from the program.
I’ve also seen multiple business coaches emphasize that there is supposedly only a handful of niches that “sell”, such as business or health. These folks would probably recommend me to emphasize how coworking with Cheryl is going to bring monetary results in your business.
And honestly, all of these pieces of advice make sense. My guess is that these suggestions will probably “work”. But it’s simply not my voice or what I want my offer to be known for.
CCC truly, at its core, is intended to be a space for you to get so much content created quickly, efficiently, and with creativity, boldness, and impact.
It’s designed to kick your ass into action, stretch your creativity and sharpen your voice, and ultimately create your best work yet week after week. THAT is what I want to highlight in my marketing and sales content for CCC.
I know that if I try to infuse the conventional advice that I see from business coaches or marketing experts into my marketing, not only would that detract from the clear vision I have for CCC, but it would also require me to use marketing or sales language that is simply NOT me.
Writing in that way would feel out of integrity for me, and I’m sure my peeps would be able to sense a sort of dissonance as well.
Instead, I choose to write in the most genuine and honest “Cheryl voice” possible even if it goes against common marketing best practices. I am committed to NOT fluffing up my offer at the expense of my own voice and vision for CCC.
And hey, so far, Cheryl’s voice is landing with my audience and the folks who have joined us inside CCC 🙂
To summarize: if you’re feeling stagnant or in a rut in your business, the question I suggest asking yourself is: What’s the most quintessentially YOU thing you could do in your business right now? What is the most YOU way of saying something or talking about your work?
Now is THE time to let go of all the business and marketing shoulds and should nots in order to shake things up and regain the momentum in your business.
First of all, everyone’s financial situation is different, so please consider only the nuggets that are relevant for you.
I also want to preface my response by saying that it would be highly irresponsible of me to just answer this question by saying, “Oh it’s your mindset”. When in fact, for many individuals, financial security is a legitimate stressor and factor to consider.
To answer the question, for me personally, I am able to manage my money concerns and inconsistent income in my business through making sure that I am in a position where I am more or less financially secure.
This means that at the beginning of my business, when I was definitely not making the annual income I would need through my business, I did NOT quit my job at that time. I continued to side hustle for several years before I reached a point of financial security where I could actually pursue my business full-time.
I will also acknowledge that at that point in time, I had accumulated enough savings where I’ll be okay if I go a year without making money in my business.
It also helps that I have spent several years prior to going full-time in my business to build up my brand reputation and a body of work. I have past clients who might work with me again, and I am confident that there are peeps in my audience who are secretly thinking about working with me. And I have existing clients I’m currently working with.
Not to mention that I am married and my husband is in a stable career situation. And we have no human dependents. We do have cats. But no human dependents.
Overall, no matter how inconsistent my business income might be, I still do have financial security for the time being.
All this is really important for me to be transparent about. Because I am arguably in a financially safe position, given my circumstances. I am able to be in the headspace to show up for my business. To be creative. To loosen up and do things out of the comfort zone in my business.
All of that is because my circumstances allow me to. I am able to run my business as a full-time entrepreneur despite the ups and downs of my income because I’m more or less still in a position where the pressure isn’t pressing.
Frankly, financial security is important whether or not you are an entrepreneur. This is why I want to also acknowledge that there are many, many times when having a job is a good thing for our business.
Being a full-time entrepreneur isn’t the right or best decision for a lot of people, and there might be certain seasons where relying on your business as your primary source of income is simply too much pressure.
For myself, there might come a time when getting a job again is the best decision I can make for myself and my business at that point in time. I am very, very open to that possibility.
I’ve been full-time in my business for around two years now, and I have seen how inconsistent income can really, for lack of better word, fuck with my mental wellbeing.
When I was side hustling, I still had other sources of income, whether it be the salary from my full-time job or my stipend while I was a PhD student. But now, when my monthly income is lower than what I’d like, boy oh boy does it spin me out. I would be lying if I say I don’t get discouraged some months.
But again, I still acknowledge that I am supported financially through different circumstances. And that’s the privilege I have and it’s been profoundly helpful for me to continue doing my best work week after week, month after month, no matter how high or low my business revenue is for the month.
This is why to answer the question of how to deal with money concerns or inconsistent income, what I want to say is, please, do whatever you need to create the sense of psychological safety you need so you can do your best work in your business.
It’s so, so hard to be creative, show up boldly, or even to sell your offers when your mental headspace is just shit. We innately know that in order to grow your business or maintain what you’re doing, you’ve got to be adaptive and innovative, be creative in your problem solving, have a relentless work ethic, share your offer proudly and with confidence and conviction, and so on. We KNOW all this.
But the reality is, it’s so hard to actually do and embody this when youre getting fucked over by feelings of financial instability or insecurity.
That’s why If you need to create other sources of income in order to take away that pressure on your business, like staying in your current job or going to get a job, that might likely be the best decision for you and your business, both in the short term and in the long term.
Do what you need to do to create a sense of psychological and financial safety so you can truly show up the way YOU would want to for your business 🙂
I want to explore this question from a recent personal example. One area that I’m definitely seeing FOMO or shiny object syndrome in for myself is I keep thinking about, “Should I record my podcast at a local podcast studio?”
What I recently realized is that the underlying thought that was happening for me was that I was convincing myself that all (or many) of the successful or legit podcasters were recording at a professional studio.
And by proxy, I was noticing myself having thoughts of “Well… I record at home. I don’t even use a nice camera or lighting or audio tech stuff. My podcast is small.” Like legit. That’s the thought I’ve been having.
But honestly, telling myself that my podcast is small is NOT helping me take control of the situation. Frankly, it was easier to tell myself, “If I just have a nicer podcast set up, then I’d be more legit as a podcaster and I’d be able to grow my video podcast on YouTube and get more listeners because now people SEE that my show is legit.”
Instead of going inward, it was easier to project outwards to external things like not having a fancy tech set up for my podcast.
But what this really tells me is I need to take responsibility for how I feel about the legitimacy of my podcast. The more I thought about it, the more I saw that perhaps I was stuck in my comfort zone and resistant to change.
It wasn’t because my video podcast didn’t look as professional as podcasters who record in a studio. It’s probably because I am stubbornly thinking well, I don’t need to change. It’s my external circumstances that need to change.
But what I really needed here was to stop using external variables to validate my own internal thoughts about myself as a podcaster and the work I do through my podcast.
So I got honest with myself about what I really want to create as a podcaster. That’s when I realized, “Huh, I sort of lost touch with the greater mission and vision for the podcast.”
Because for years, the podcast has in a way served as a marketing funnel for my coaching services. And it will continue to be a vehicle for me to make invitations to work with me. But I realized for who knows how long, I forgot about the bigger purpose behind my podcast.
Which is to be an example of someone who is building thought leadership, even if I don’t see myself as good enough, qualified enough, or successful enough.
I want to be an example of someone who is committed to building my thought leadership and building a body of work, no matter what doubts and limiting beliefs I hold about myself. I want others who see themselves in me, to see that they too can take the steps forward in building a body of work.
This is precisely what I had to remember and continuously, day after day, ground back into. This was my internal work that I needed to do.
And guess what? Recently, I flew to Manila, Philippines to speak at Podfest Asia. The moment I got on the stage and looked out into the audience, I saw folks who looked like me. Who perhaps, felt like they themselves aren’t as good as the big names in the podcasting space.
Or maybe they feel like because they’re based in South East Asia, that their opportunities for success are a lot more limited. Or maybe they feel constrained by how English isn’t their native language, or by their appearance, or other factors.
When I got on that stage. I instantly remembered my mission as a podcaster. So I spoke from the heart, to the live audience, during my panel talk.
All that to say, I myself first had to believe in the work I do as a podcaster, before anyone else can believe in my work. This means that even if the tech setup is very minimal compared to my podcaster colleagues, I have to first REALLY believe that I do good work through my podcast irrespective of my circumstances or what I perceive myself to be lacking in.
Tying it back to the question, maybe you, too, have felt FOMO, shiny object syndrome, comparisons, or just plain discouraged because you feel like you’re lacking in some way shape or form compared to your colleagues and peers.
Or maybe your business isn’t doing as well as it used to. Or maybe your content is’t getting as many likes or engagements as you thought it would. As a result, you start to avoid the discomfort of the identity work and actions that is actually required of you.
It’s easier to continue staying complacent and saying, “Oh it’s just because I’m lacking the fancy tech set up for my podcast, rather than working on my self belief.”
This was a harsh lesson that I had to come face to face with.
Start by taking control over your own growth and success by cultivating an unshakable inner sense of conviction in your work first and foremost, before looking at how to make tweaks and changes to external variables.
The balance between putting your head down and hustling VS time to brainstorm that may not lead to a direct ROI.
How I’m interpreting this question is: How do you balance time spent on things that are known to work versus trying something that you don’t know if it will work (but I’m assuming you really really want to try this).
I think my immediate thought here is: Whether something works or doesn’t work, you won’t know unless you try. And not just try once, but actually commit to it for an extended amount of time, put in the reps to practice it, and fine tune and problem solve as needed.
For the things you’re already implementing and it’s seemingly working, there was a point in time when that wasn’t the case. Meaning, there was a time when you didn’t know if it would work, or there was a time when it wasn’t working, you problem solved it and continued to implement over and over again until it showed signs of it working.
That said, oftentimes, we flip flop between 1) hoping, and honestly, expecting, that our hard work will reflect in our business outcomes and 2) at the same time, questioning whether our efforts will actually pan out.
But often, the results are not exactly aligned with how we were expecting the success. What happens is usually either resentment and frustration, or feeling highly discouraged and defeated.
For me, I tend to fall into the latter camp. Either way, what happens is that we will just brush off the significance of our efforts and hard work. You find it really hard to acknowledge or celebrate any of the clear progress and growth that you’ve made, let alone the small wins.
Because let’s be honest, you really feel like you should have created biggert, faster, or better results. In your head, it’s like you didn’t even hit the bare minimum of what your efforts was supposed to have yielded. To top it off, you’re embarrassed and worrying about what people will think if they notice your “lack of substantial results”.
Personally, I believe that this frame of mind is really detrimental to not just the efforts and hard work you already put in, but also to the ability for your efforts and hardwork to continue to compound and actually “work” for weeks and months to come.
Because what will probably happen is that even if you continue to “keep trying “for a few more weeks or months, the efforts are, for lack of better word, pretty half-assed.
To take it a layer deeper, I would even venture to argue that what’s happening is stemming from unrealistic expectations about creating business results, and maybe combined with a bit of feeling of not being good enough unless we achieve a certain benchmark of success.
This is where we really need to practice the skill, the art, of not just dismissing the “small” growth or wins simply because they are not at a certain size or scale and hence not enough to humble brag about on LinkedIn or post about on Instagram stories.
We really need to learn to be at peace and to be proud of the season of our business where our indicators of growth are not as visible and where our wins are not as sexy and flashy as we’d hope.
Imagine you’re able to find calm, peace and joy in these challenging periods of time where your hard work isn’t yielding the results you are hoping for and to continue feeling proud and convicted in what you do. I personally do believe when you are able to do and embody that, that is how you can truly pave the foundation for a healthy, sustainable business that is here to stay for the long term.
When your sense of pride, joy and achievement is no longer predicated on the results you create in your business, that’s when you no longer let business timelines cripple you.
The fact that you didn’t hit your business goal despite all the hard work and efforts you’ve put in during the past X amount of time is no longer going to crush you.
This is when you’ll start to really learn to fail forward. To bounce back quickly. To build your resilience as a solopreneur.
That got deep real fast. But yes. To the question of, “How do you balance between the certainty of what’s already working, and the uncertainty of new ideas?”
Try. Commit to trying. That’s the only way you’ll find your answer.
When it comes to prioritizing my wellbeing and taking time off and overall being a chill AF solopreneur, what often competes against doing so is my innate desire for external validation.
I’m sure many of you can relate to this. Because it’s like even when we do receive some form of recognition, it’s just not enough to satisfy us for more than like 5 minutes.
We quickly go back to feeling not enough, and therefore need to keep doing more, more and more in order to get more recognition. And because we’re so drained from being in this cycle, we don’t even have the capacity to think about our wellbeing or take time off and just be chill.
For those of us solopreneurs who have experienced burnout before, my guess is that a big contributor to that burnout was we’re being driven by the belief that we need to push, push, push, to be consistent, to keep being visible and top of mind for our audience. To do more, more, more in order to make sales in our business.
All of which are beliefs that are rooted in striving for someone else’s recognition and validation. Because if we truly didn’t care about what people think, if we truly felt like we didn’t need to go, go, go in order for our audience or potential clients to perceive us as someone they want to hire and work with, would we still neglect our wellbeing to the extent that it led us to crash and burn?
If we really were NOT operating out of the fear of losing momentum or losing people’s interest in us or our work, would we still choose to work instead of prioritizing our wellbeing?
Going back to the question of how I prioritize my own wellbeing, I realized that I first had to like myself and how I feel about myself first and validate myself first. And at the same time, learn to unwind from the need to be eternally validated.
I had to unwind and unbind from the thought of what people were thinking about me. Only then can I truly find the genuine desire to prioritize my wellbeing.
The truth is, when I was so stuck in the cycle of “What else can I do for my business?” because I wanted to make more sales, it was a HUGE HURDLE to get me to chill.
I still remember back in 2019 when I first started my business, I was soooo stuck in the cycle of “I NEED TO DO MORE”, to the point when my long distance boyfriend (now husband) was visiting me in Hong Kong, like he flew from Singapore to see me, I’d still be glued to my phone every waking moment. And once, he got angry with me because I was clearly not present and we were not spending quality time together despite him literally flying over to see me.
I think after years of learning to see external validation as more of a bonus rather than a need, and now starting to see the immense value of my inherent qualities, I’m now able to operate my life and business from a more grounded, stable, peaceful, and joyful state of mind.
If I choose to spend a few extra hours to work, it’s a very self-assured decision. Likewise, if I choose to take the whole day off and not work, that’s also a very self-assured decision.
This was for sure a work in progress for a number of years, but I think with time and practice, I’ve naturally stepped into a version of myself where I simply don’t need other people to validate my decisions, my actions or my accomplishments.
And that, my friends, is how, after years, I’m finally at a place where I actually WANT to prioritize my wellbeing. I genuinely want to make the time on my Google calendar to do things that are truly for me.
The last thing I will say is that I recognize that there might be a season where you genuinely desire to work more. That’s fine. But at the same time, you might eventually find yourself in a season where you genuinely want to prioritize your wellbeing more. That is also fine.
And you might continue to find yourself ebbing and flowing between these two seasons. That’s also totally fine.
You, your brain and your body will know what season you’re in. And as long as you’re operating from a space of not needing to rely on external validation, it will be a lot easier to make decisions in accordance to what you truly need in that season.
With that, this concludes our questions for this Q&A episode. This is the end of our 4-part series on how to be a chill AF solopreneur.
If you want to ask a question for us to unpack in a future podcast episode, you can drop it in the anonymous form that’s linked in the show notes.
Thank you for tuning into this episode and I’ll see you in the next one.
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Episode 168. How to Plan Your Week as a Side Hustler: Chill AF Solopreneur (Part 1)
Episode 169. How to Plan Your Week as a Full Time Entrepreneur: Chill AF Solopreneur (Part 2)
Episode 170. How to Create a Relaxed Lifestyle While Growing Your Business: Chill AF Solopreneur (Part 3)
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