Episode 164. Quit Story: Choosing to NOT Get a Job After Graduating and Building a Speaker & Coaching Business in Singapore with Rae Fung

Rae first connected via Instagram around late 2020, and we’ve been besties ever since.

We started out as long-distance internet friends (she was in Singapore while I was in Hong Kong) during the pandemic.

We finally met in person after I moved to Singapore in 2022.

Over the years, we’ve seen each other stretch out of our comfort zones as entrepreneurs and go after our big audacious dreams.

We’ve also seen each other cry during our lowest lows.

One thing I’ve always appreciated about Rae is her openness to share her lessons and how she, too, is a work-in-progress.

I’ve learned a lot through Rae’s sharing and point of view, and I’m confident that you will too.

This is why I am super duper excited to invite Rae onto Episode 164 of The Thought Leader Club Podcast as part of our “Quit Story” guest interview series.

Episode 164 of The Thought Leader Club Podcast (featuring Rae) is now available on iTunes, Spotify, and YouTube.

In This Episode:

Why Rae chose to pursue entrepreneurship and coaching instead of doing what her classmates did after graduation (i.e. find a job)
The “boxes” that Rae had to break out of in order to do the work she does today
What Rae is working on right now as an entrepreneur, content creator, and speaker
Rae’s perspective on traveling
Nails, ideal background music when working and household chores

Why Rae chose to pursue entrepreneurship and coaching instead of doing what her classmates did after graduation (i.e. find a job)

Cheryl:

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the Thought Leader Club Podcast.

We are back with an in-person Quit Story interview with Rae. She’s one of my literal besties. I’m so excited for this interview. But as usual, let me do a little spiel of what the Quit Story interview is for first.

My goal with this series is to talk to really cool people from all walks of life, all of whom have a Quit Story. Now quitting can look different for everyone. It can look like quitting a career. It could look like quitting a lifestyle, quitting a mindset, quitting an identity. It can look like very many different things.

But the common thread among the Quit Stories that we will share on the show include defining your own version of a successful life and what success looks like for you as opposed to what you’re supposed to do or who you’re supposed to be.

It also involves choosing courage over fear in times of uncertainty or difficulty. And it also includes making decisions that are in line with your own values and choosing what matters most to you.

That is an overview of what these Quit Story interviews are for.

Without further ado, let me have Rae introduce herself first.

Who are you and what do you do?

Rae:

Thanks so much for the beautiful introduction of this entire podcast. I’m so excited to share my Quit Story and the conversation we’re going to dive into today.

A little bit about me. What I do is I’m a speaking coach. I’m also a speaker. I help rising leaders own their voice. That would be to identify your authentic and unique voice so you can show up on stage, confident and poised. That’s why I do.

I also love creating content on social media, telling people about what it means to own your voice.

And I also love traveling. So I guess there are different parts of my identity and who I am.

Cheryl:

How I want to start off this particular conversation is because for those of you who are OGs on this podcast, you will have seen Rae’s name and voice on the show several times on this podcast.

We’ve had bonus episodes featuring Rae. We’ve had, I believe it was episode 23 or 25? (The correct episode is Episode 22: Share Your Unique Story Boldly & Other Speaking Tips with Rae Fung) It was one of the very early episodes of the show back when it was still called The Side Hustle Club.

Rae:

So long ago!

Cheryl:

Yeah, so Rae has been here for a while. And I think what I really want to dive into first and foremost for today is I really want to ask, why did you choose to go straight into entrepreneurship right out of university?

Because many people would have gone into a traditional or corporate job or some sort of just more traditional route.

But you went straight into entrepreneurship and starting your own coaching business like right off the bat.

So I want to start there first and ask you why? Why did you choose that?

Rae:

Okay, so let me just paint a picture of how I looked when I was at the decision making process, the start of the decision making process.

It was my last year of university. I haven’t really identified what I wanted to do in future at that point in time. I have been emceeing events for seven years already professionally, so I was hosting roadshows, weddings, conferences, etc.

I’ve done some form of personal development training in schools for kids and tertiary education organizations. I had done some sales. So I’ve kind of been sampling and identifying what I kind of want to do in the future, but I didn’t have a concrete plan yet.

And it was my final year of university. It was reaching that point where I felt like I needed to make a decision some way or another.

I think at that point in time, I was kind of doubtful of where I was going. I wasn’t clear about how much money I could potentially make. I definitely had some pressures when it comes to parental expectations, not wanting to lag behind my classmates.

And I think the best way to put it was I, I was kind of lost and in a state of doubt.

So that was the situation I was in.

And when I graduated from school, I basically had a choice. Do I want to just get a full time job? So there is some semblance of stability. And at that point when I graduated, there was actually Covid period.

I was a Covid graduate. Even getting a job at that point in time already means that you’re lucky.

Do I want to just grasp that opportunity to get a job, or do I want to figure things out myself?

At that point in time, I didn’t have a business yet, so I wouldn’t even be choosing a coaching business. I’ll be choosing the path of figuring it out.

And as cheesy as it sounds, I decided to pursue the path of entrepreneurship because I chose to follow my heart and to take a leap of faith. I know it sounds really cheesy and cliche, but that’s really what happened for me.

I actually did send out some job applications and I got some responses and there was this one company that really, really wanted me to come on board and it was a training company. Our values were aligned. I actually really like the people working in that company and I could see myself enjoying my life there.

But a part of me was saying, “No, Rae, don’t go.” And I was actually hoping they would send me a rejection letter. I think when you can feel your heart saying, “No, don’t go”, that’s when you know, you know that you actually don’t want it.

And I knew I actually didn’t want a job. At that point in time, I just chose to listen to that voice instead of the logical part of my brain speaking. Because at that point in time, there were two very clear voices.

The first voice is like, “Rae, you’ve got to be logical. You’ve got to be practical. You should get a job because it’s more safe. You don’t have clients in your coaching business yet. Are you sure you want to figure it out?

The other voice is like, “Rae, I know you can do it. You have been mentoring and training here and there. There’s some demand for the work that you do, and I know you can figure it out.”

And at that point, I really just get to choose which voice I’ll listen to.

I personally believe that your experience of the world is shaped by where you focus your attention on. And for me, I chose to focus my attention on the voices encouraging me to pursue my passion as opposed to the voices dissuading me on the grounds of practicality.

Cheryl:

Yeah, I’m really glad we started here first, because since I met you, that was my interpretation of your story. Ever since that juncture of your life, when I first heard about your story in that decision to go into entrepreneurship right off the gate from university, I was like, “Oh wow, Rae had to quit what people around her were doing and saying, quitting that societal expectation, right off the bat, from a young age.” You had a quit story.

And I am so glad that we started off here first because I think that really sets the stage for the rest of this conversation about all the other decisions that you’ve had to make along the way since since that point in time that involves choosing your own version of success instead of what everyone else around you was doing and saying.

The “boxes” that Rae had to break out of in order to do the work she does today

Cheryl:

Now I’m really curious to know were there any points in little Rae’s life where, before university, before you chose entrepreneurship, what identities were you really clinging on to when you made that decision to quit society’s expectations of like you’re supposed to go to a corporate job after graduating?

What identities really were really holding you back during that time?

Rae:

Oh wow. What identities were holding me back? Okay.

I would say the main one is the part of little Rae that really, really just wants to make herself, her parents and others, proud. Right.

And I think underlined the need or the desire to make people proud is the need to be seen, accepted, validated and loved.

So since young, I’ve always been someone that I think is pretty average in terms of grades or whatever society sees as the metric of success.

Growing up, I would look at the people around me and I realized that the people who are the prettiest, the most popular or the smartest are the ones that have a voice, are the ones that speak the loudest.

And because I didn’t see myself as pretty, smart or popular. I just thought, you know what? I don’t really deserve to have a voice. And I taught myself, I’m going to work hard to change myself, to be even more pretty, popular or smart so that I have something to say, so that I deserve to speak up.

And I tried so many ways to do that, right? I was obsessed about the way I look. I would put double eyelid stickers. By the way, I was born with single eyelids. I don’t know if you know.

I was born with single eyelids and now I have double eyelids.

Cheryl:

If you’re watching the video, you would have seen me look at Rae’s face. I’m like, wait! I swear you had an eyelid!

Rae:

Yeah, I was born with single eyelids, and I went for surgery. Okay, I’m kidding.

I did not. So what happened was I had so much resilience. I put double eyelids stickers for years every single day until they become permanent.

Cheryl:

That can happen?!

Rae:

Yes. So I did it for so long until one sight became permanent. And now I’m like, okay, shit. I cannot have one side double eyelid, and one side with none.

So I need to put it on the other side as well.

That’s how I eventually have to double eyelids, as you can see right now on video.

I tried to change the way I look. I wanted to look better. I wanted to be more popular. I remember when I was in primary school, I was friends with the popular kid in class. And she would bite her nails. And because I wanted to fit in, I would bite my nails as well, which explains why I have terribly short nails.

You see? Follow the crowd.

And I tried so hard to be smart as well. I studied three times as hard, I think, as the people around me in order to try to do as well.

I basically did whatever it takes to feel worthy of having a voice, to be seen. And my driving factor is that desire to be good enough.

That was what was driving me all along. And obviously because I didn’t get that validation and that feeling of good enoughness from school, I found it through other ways. That’s why I started emceeing events when I was 15 years old. I was volunteering in a community center and they needed to have someone volunteer as an emcee for the family carnivals and bursary awards ceremonies.

What started as a way for me to find my voice, really became a quick passion of mine. I realized I really loved being on stage, connecting with the crowd, meeting new people.

Even though I really liked that as a job, as a side hustle. I didn’t really see myself doing it as a career because I don’t know how I could really monetize it and find some semblance of stability with it.

Bringing us back to the time when I was deciding if I want to pursue my own thing or get a job. At that point in time, so much of the doubt and limiting beliefs came back saying, “Rae, are you sure you want to do something that has no security, that has no confirmed outcome? You’re going to lag behind your friends, just like you lagged behind in the past. Why don’t you choose something safer so that you can be ahead of your friends, so that you know, you can be seen as successful, as secure, as stable? Why do you want to choose the hard route?”

I think those parts of my identity came back rushing towards me. I remembered little Rae’s fears of lagging behind. That could have potentially stopped me.

I think I had a number of years of experience in listening to my voice. Because at that point in time, at the point of graduation, I actually found my first coach and mentor, and have been working with this coach for three years. So I think I was a little bit more self aware and I knew that those were just limiting beliefs. Those were just conditioning from society. I was aware that I could make a choice.

Past-Rae was unaware that she was driven by these rules and conditioning. Rae when she was 22 or 21 years old when she graduated from university, she was aware that she could make a choice to listen to her fears or to decide to listen to the little voice inside, saying,”Pursue your passion.” And she decided to take a leap of faith.

Cheryl:

You know, I think for a lot of people who follow you now, years after you’ve graduated, they see this version of Rae who’s like, really cool, really successful and doing it in a quote unquote, non-conventional way. They see it like this very shiny veneer.

Now, that said, I think Rae’s brand is very authentic. I think Rae speaks from a very genuine place.

But I think for someone who just discovers Rae like their first impression, I’d be like, “Wow, Rae has it all together.”

I would like to hear more about from that point in time where you had to really release from certain identities and take this leap into entrepreneurship from that point even till today in 2024.

What were things that you had to let go of? Because you talk about how back in your younger days you would do whatever it takes to fit in, right? So I’m curious to know, since starting your business, did those patterns still come up? And if so, how did you have to unwind and unwind from them since starting your entrepreneurial journey?

Rae:

Okay, that’s a really good question.

The number one thing that I have to continuously remind myself to let go of, is the need or the craving for validation, and for someone to tell me, “Okay, check, you have done something right.”

I constantly need to let go of that because there are multiple times in my entrepreneurial journey where I realized it has come up.

When I first started posting on social media, years ago, I was so hesitant putting out my first IGTV. Back then, it was IGTV, not reels yet. Because I was so concerned about how people would look at me. I was concerned about the littlest things like how it’ll look on my feed, whether I’ll look nice, will people judge me for the story I’m going to share?

I was so conscious about how my message would be received by people that it just stopped me from posting altogether. And learning how to accept that there will be people that won’t like my content or disagree with my content or think that I’m, I don’t know, too girly, too vulnerable, too put together, too perfect.

However way I show up, there will be people who think that I’m “too” something. And accepting that there will be some people that just don’t like me, I think I really needed to accept it. Like truly accept that, in order for me to attract the people that do like me for me.

So the first time I ever posted my first IGTV, I had so many things holding me back. And only when I accepted that there will be people that don’t like me, and I posted that IGTV, it allowed me to attract my first coaching client even before I had a product, even before I had a coaching program.

I remember sharing the story about how I blanked out on stage and completely did not know what to say, even though I have had five years of emceeing experience. And I felt so ashamed of that incident.

I was very afraid of sharing a story because I thought that people would think, “Oh Rae, you’re just a fake. You have blanked out before and you’re trying to tell people you’re trying to teach people how to not blank out on stage? But you have blanked out before.”

I was so afraid of what people would think about me, that they wouldn’t see me as a confident person anymore. But I just decided to share that story, knowing that it will help someone. And that managed to attract my first client. That’s just one example. But along the way, this has happened many times.

There’ll be times that I want to post something on social media, but I’m afraid that it doesn’t sound smart enough. I’m afraid that I don’t have enough knowledge about it. I’m afraid that people would pull me down and say, “No, no, you don’t have the facts right. Why are you talking about this topic?”

But realizing that I would rather be hated or loved, as opposed to just being vanilla. I think that’s something I really need to accept.

If I want to have an impact with my voice, then I need to be courageous to use it. And I think what has helped me through the process over the years is in really anchoring on my vision and my purpose.

Because when I first started my journey, it was the need for validation and love that has driven me forward. But once I’ve gotten all that validation and that love, I don’t need it anymore, right? Basically, I’ve reached a point where I’ve got all the Instagram comments, the DMs, people telling me, “Rae, you’re so amazing.”

As much as I do appreciate receiving these comments, after one year receiving it, it no longer sparks the same excitement as it did the first time I received it.

So I actually had a point in time where I thought I lost my passion in doing the work that I did because I’m like, “Wait, I don’t feel excited anymore.”

But it was that period of time that I was transitioning between what was pushing me forward. So initially it was the love and validation that I needed that was pushing me forward and I needed to find a much bigger thing to pull me forward.

And that bigger thing is that vision, that mission that I needed to dig deeper to find.

So right now what really drives me forward is knowing that in a world where people own their voice, there will be so much more love and connection, there’ll be so much more fulfillment. And I believe that a world where people own your voice is a world where there’s less hate and conflict as well.

Because if everyone feels comfortable with their voice, if everyone truly feels fulfilled in the work they do, then they wouldn’t bother spreading hate. Even if they disagree with something, they would talk about it with a lot more wisdom.

So I truly believe that our voice and our story has the power to heal and connect.

And when I remember that, then that is the thing that pulls me forward. Even if there are times where I’m afraid people would judge me, etc. I anchor myself on my vision. That’s something that has helped me over time.

Cheryl:

I really like that. I mean, obviously I’ve followed your journey closely for a few years since we’ve connected.

Every time I hear you share why you have such high belief in the work that you do, every time you share that with me, I always, once again, feel this profound sense of like, I’m so proud to be your friend!

Like that feeling, because it really comes across.

Because as you were saying, throughout your entrepreneurial journey, there were times when maybe past patterns might come up. But when you’re able to ground into that belief of why your work matters, that’s how you’re able to pull yourself out of it and really focus on what matters the most.

That’s why I love hearing that sharing every single time.

That said, I think one thing I would love to know more about as well is, we touched on some of the things that came up for little Rae about when you feel like you weren’t enough or not as good as, so and so.

I’m curious to know how that has showed up in your entrepreneurial journey as well? For example, could it be comparisons or do you feel like you’re not as good as other entrepreneurs?

I’m really curious to know more about that from you because again, for someone who follows you, they might look at you and think that you have it all together. But I really would love to peel back some layers and ask you what really goes on in Rae’s brain?

Rae:

Yeah, you know, I talk a lot about owning a voice.

And when I talk about that on social media, for someone that’s, you know, looking at seeing, you know, me for the first time, you think, wow, I’m sure Rae is able to make decisions confidently. Say what she wants to say directly from her mind, has nothing holding her back.

But that’s obviously not true.

And because we’ve been friends for a number of years, Cheryl obviously has…

I think you are one of the few people that have seen moments where I’m just like an egg on the floor.

Cheryl:

A fried egg.

Rae:

Yeah, my favorite way to put it, like a fried egg on the floor, surrendering to life, feeling defeated. I’ve had so many moments, right?

Owning your voice is not a pretty process. Sometimes it’s a lot of working through the shame, the guilt, the not good enoughness, the self doubt.

One of the things that I need to do in my life, throughout my entrepreneurial journey, is to learn how to tune in to my own voice and choose to listen to it, especially when it speaks like a soft whisper in a noisy world.

And there are many times I had to do it. So many times where because I want it to get ahead, I want to be successful and I want it to, once again, be good enough.

Past Rae feels like she’s not good enough. Sometimes I still feel I’m not good enough. Not being not good enough I think is something that comes up often. Right now, less often than last time, but still. And because I always want to feel good enough, sometimes I would try to take shortcuts or listen to people’s advice so that I can get ahead in my career.

There were a number of times, especially when I first started my entrepreneurial journey, where I would seek the advice of mentors. People that I saw, that I believed knew better than me because they were older and more experienced. I chose to listen to them as opposed to tune in to my own voice.

That’s an example of the process of owning my voice. The ugly part where I rejected my voice. I listen to this person because I think that they know better than me.

What happened was there were multiple times in my journey where I followed what someone else thinks is better, and ended up suffering because I wasn’t happy. I ended up saying yes to a lot of opportunities that didn’t align with me.

In the end, I just break up in tears sometimes and don’t even know why I was crying. But deep down the reason is because I wasn’t happy following this path that this person said is better. And it’s not this person’s fault, it’s not these mentors’ fault. But it’s because I didn’t take time to listen to my own voice.

Many times my lowest moments are when I wake up in the morning and it’s still dark and I can hear noises outside, my sister, my dad are up and about.

And I’m just laying in bed not wanting to get up because I feel at such a loss. I feel like I don’t even know what I want anymore. There’s so many moments where I’m like I don’t even know what I want to do anymore.

These are moments that exist even when I have clients. From the outside, people like I have clients, my coaching circle is accepting clients and posting content.

From the outside.

People think that everything is fine, but at home I’m just questioning myself, questioning my business, questioning my life, not knowing where I’m going.

There are definitely moments where I just feel so alone and down. And I think that in your entrepreneurial journey, the reality is even if you have really close friends, which I do, you will still feel alone in your journey because nobody knows your business like you do, and you’re going to feel like you’re fighting this battle alone.

You’re going to feel like you’re figuring this out alone. And I think truly building a relationship with my voice. And that is speaking with my voice, not just during the highs when I feel good on stage, but especially during the lows when it feels weak and like a soft whisper. That is something I needed to learn how to do throughout my entire journey.

Cheryl:

This bounce off of what you just shared. One of the favorite things I see from you is when I get to see the real behind the scenes of Rae’s journey in life. My favorite piece of content from Rae is always when you were sharing so honestly and transparently because I think that’s when I learn the most from you.

I want to also mention that because I think for a lot of people, they feel like they have to put on a certain image in order to come across as a successful entrepreneur. As you can see from what Rae shared, just by Rae being transparent with us, we can take away so many nuggets.

So I wanted to just quickly highlight that first and share how much I always glean something whenever you are being honest and being in that, “I’m a work in progress” mindset.

Rae:

Can I say something about this?

When it comes to being a thought leader, which is what this podcast is about, right?

There are two things I want to bring up. Bounce back this based on what you just said.

The first thing is that perfection is overrated and imperfection gives you your personality. Imperfection is a testament of your humanity. And I think in a world where everything seems so perfect and we’re all.. Capitalism in society is looking for the cleanest and fastest method to do everything.

What we are really looking for and what your audience is really looking for is signs of humanity, signs of your vulnerability. That is where our story comes in, right?

That’s why I encourage myself to share my story, even when it’s hard.

And the second thing I want to talk about is the importance of always anchoring yourself on your values. So that’s what I do.

I ask myself, okay, what do I want my brand to stand for? And usually what I want my brand to stand for is what I stand for, right? So because my business is very much connected to me as a person. I stand for authenticity. I stand for vulnerability, I stand for compassion. I stand for everybody having their unique voice, so not imposing my values on anybody else.

I stand for honesty and integrity. These are things I stand for.

And I ask myself, am I showing these values through the content I put out? So if I stand for authenticity, am I actually truly being authentic through my content? If I stand for love and compassion, am I loving my audience by being honest? Because sometimes love is not just showing the things that your audience wants to hear. Love is sharing the things that you believe your audience needs to hear, even if they don’t want to hear it.

I ask myself, is my content really reflecting my values?

I feel like these two things that I just mentioned, it really helps me when it comes to owning my voice on social media.

What Rae is working on right now as an entrepreneur, content creator, and speaker

Cheryl:

Ooh, okay, Surprise question.

Now I’m really curious to know… I guess there’s two ways we can interpret this question.

What is one thing you want to express more of? Like a value you want to express more of in your content? What is one identity or like entrepreneurial expectation that you’re letting go of?

What are you working on right now behind the scenes? At this moment?

Because you shared a lot about things that little Rae has navigated, and also the things that you’ve navigated at the earlier stages of your business journey.

I’m curious to know, what are you working on right now?

Rae:

Two things.

Number one, I’m working on letting go of the pressure of being, of my idea of what a coach should be.

So let me see. I realize I can’t say this in one nice sentence.

Well, one thing that I’ve always been afraid to put up is my childlike wonder side, my naivete, that side of me.

People see me as this professional, this always on stage. I speak in front of audiences where they are professionals, and some of them are VCs or or heads of companies. So I have this very professional, formal vibe. But I want to show more of my young side.

So this is something that I’m working on. Because I realized that I still get triggered when someone mentions how young I am. I don’t know why. I actually see it as a strength, but yet I still get triggered.

So someone said this to me recently. He said, Oh Rae, you have grown up. I’ve seen how you have done this last year. You’re really different. You’ve really grown up.”

I mean, I don’t know why that triggered me. I get triggered when someone says I’ve grown up because it makes me feel like, “Do you see me as a kid?”

But then that is also an opportunity for me to explore. Why do I get triggered by that statement? Why do I feel ashamed to be seen as a kid?

I’m learning how to be proud of who I am as a whole, both as the wise old woman vibes that I am and also the kid side of me. So that’s number one.

The second thing is I’m learning how to let go of the need to know everything before I speak about it. One thing that I’ve been kind of insecure about since young actually, is feeling like I don’t know enough about the world.

I was in the debates club and I always felt like I knew less than my friends around me because they studied history, they have a keen interest in the world. And for me, I never really… I didn’t study history. Plus at that point in time, I didn’t really have that keen interest in the world.

Right now I see on social media many people who are talking about things stop feeling so strongly about the state of the world. And for me I feel kind of lost.

I don’t really have an opinion about it because in Singapore it’s very safe. I haven’t really studied or lived in the country, so I feel I don’t have an opinion about that. So I’m learning how to allow myself to be curious and talk about things without putting pressure on myself to have the right opinion.

So those are two things.

Cheryl:

I have a follow up question and a comment.

When you were talking about how one thing that you’re letting go of right now is letting go of the need to know it all before you speak on it, that’s actually one thing I really appreciate about you, which is how you’re open to learning.

You’re always open to asking people questions and learning about their stories. To me, that’s one of your greatest assets. You’re so open and curious and you genuinely want to talk to other people to get their thoughts and perspectives.

It’s so interesting how even though you might navigate the thought of, “I don’t know enough compared to so and so”, I’m always so impressed by how you’re so curious and you just want to learn and talk to people. That’s one of my favorite things about you.

Rae:

Aww. Thank you.

Cheryl:

Now for the question. You mentioned the first part, the childlike wonder. I’m so curious to know, have you ever gotten a comment from your audience or someone who was at one of your in-person events or just anywhere.

Have you ever received a message or comment from your audience where they’re so helped by your childlike wonder?

Has that ever happened?

Rae:

Yes, it has. It has, definitely.

I’ve actually been hired because I’m younger before. There are multiple times that MNCs, they actually hired me because they said to me that the they want a fresh perspective, because the employees on their teams are kind of sick of same of vibes of the speakers and the trainers that come in and they just want someone that’s young, that’s different and that’s why they chose me.

So exactly. When I doubt myself, I remind myself of that. I remind myself of how my youth and my childlike wonder side of me is valuable.

Cheryl:

Okay, now a similar question. I’m super curious to know, and this is kind of random and a little bit out of place, I’m going to ask anyway. What’s the most impactful message you’re received from your audience?

Not from a company or MNC or a corporation, but from an individual. I’m curious to know and you don’t have to tell us the details, what was the most meaningful message you’ve ever received from your audience?

Rae:

So many, so many. I think that one of the most impactful ones was this lady from I can’t remember the country. Is it Nigeria or some part of the world? She messaged me and said that she is in the process of starting a service-based business, but she was having so much doubt. And her watching my video actually gave her that push to start doing it.

She shared a way longer message, sharing a lot more about how she felt and why she was feeling the doubt and what about my video actually inspired her. At that point in time, that really touched me.

And that still touches me now because that has shown me that the right people will listen, and will find your message even if they’re living in the other part of the world.

I don’t know anybody from her country. I just put my message out there in the world and it somehow found the way to her. That has been a consistent motivation for me to continue putting content out there, because I know that the right people will see it.

Cheryl:

Okay. My train of thought is going everywhere. But my next question is, I’ve never asked you this before, but now I am, what is the piece of content that you’re most proud of?

Because you have a body of work online. Like anyone who Googles Rae, you’ll find stuff, you’ll find content on YouTube, audio, podcast, Instagram, LinkedIn, etc.

I really want to know if you had to give me one piece of content that you want people to see more.

What would that be? Which piece?

Rae:

This is so hard! Because the honest answer, my favorite piece of content is the content that I recently posted.

I’m someone that, the moment I post it, I feel very passionate about it. If I were to record it and I post it one month from now, I would feel different about that piece of content because I feel like our content carries our energy.

So at that point in time, basically any piece of content I’m proud of is the one where in that moment I’m so convicted and so passionate about it and I just post it up. And it changes all the time.

It’s definitely not something I posted last year, because that energy where I’ve gone and I’ve evolved from that version of me. I’m most proud of the content that I create now with my evolved part of me.

But if I really had to choose one, I would say it is probably the first time I ever posted something super, super vulnerable, which is that one post where I shared about my dad. You remember?

Cheryl:

Yes.

Rae:

The one that is the one that went viral. So I posted a photo of me and my dad and I think that caption was, I didn’t think this day would come so soon.

The reason why I was so proud of that is because I felt that that post was so healing to write. I wrote it one day, I think. I didn’t think it would go far. I just wanted to put it out as a way to feel like a full circle. I feel healed. and I put it out there and I remember that point in time.

I was also kind of feeling stuck in my content creation journey. And that particular post I wrote in my room, I just allowed myself to feel my emotions and just write free flow with no structure, nothing.

I remember I cried as I wrote that post.

And then the next morning I just put it into a carousel and I just hit send.

Then one hour later I suddenly got so many notifications. There have been so many comments and shares and I was like, “Whoa, what in the world?” I think that’s the content I’m very proud of.

Cheryl:

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. That particular carousel post was very not just sincere, genuine, honest, transparently, not just that. I think what was really unique about that piece was it’s so your story. No one else can replicate that post. Literally because of your story and your lived experiences and your perspectives about your relationship with family, relationship with your work, things like that.

I just thought that was such a magical post in that sense. It just has all the elements of how a lot of marketers or business coaches will say, be authentic in your content. But that piece of content was an actual embodiment of all those quote unquote best practices.

It wasn’t just you trying to be genuine to get the likes. It was actually genuine. And yeah, so that’s why I really resonated and I still remember that post as well. It was a year and a half ago, I think.

Rae:

And I think the reason why it was truly so authentic was because I had no expectation of the outcome of that piece of content.

I was allowing this content to just, well, I didn’t even see it as content. I think it was just for me, me to express my emotions that I needed to express in that moment when it comes to the relationship with my dad and I saw. I just wanted to share the experience and journal the experience down. I had no expectations of the outcome. And that’s why I was so authentic.

Rae’s perspective on traveling

Cheryl:

I see. And, you know, but on that note, a slight shift in conversation is speaking of no expectations and being authentic. I think one thing that I see as your friend and observer or audience member is that when you’re traveling, when you’re overseas, traveling, exploring the world, I feel like I also get that energy from you, in your content, in the messages that we would send back and forth privately.

I also get that energy of, you’re so relaxed. What are your thoughts about traveling? Let’s just start with an open ended question. What are your thoughts?

Rae:

Oh my goodness. I feel like travel as a medium has been a way for me to both learn, grow, connect, purge, heal. It has served me in different ways throughout the past two years.

I’ve only really started traveling, I think, two or two and a half years ago. Because before that I was conditioned to believe that travel is a waste of time. Like truly right. I was in a sales company before and that one mentor, he believes that everything else that you do in your youth that does not contribute to your financial freedom or career is a waste of time.

Yeah. And because, as I mentioned in the earlier part of this conversation, I bypassed my own unique voice a lot. I didn’t take time to really ask myself what I thought about that statement, and I just believed it. So I actually did not travel much for years.

And when I first started traveling, traveling was my way of experiencing what freedom truly felt like.

So the first ever trip that I went, the first two trips, I think the first one was with my sister to Vietnam, and the second one was my first digital nomad experience to Bali, and I did it for three weeks.

Those two trips really helped me experience the freedom that I was fighting for. Because for so long I’ve been building my business so that I can do the work that I love and also live a better life. But I didn’t really allow myself to experience what that better life was, you know?

Because I wasn’t allowing myself to actually rest. And after many, many rounds of burnout, I finally did it because my sister wanted to do it. Plus I was invited to go for the digital nomad trip. I did not initiate. I just simply responded to people’s invitation to travel.

It just unlocked. It just showed me how freedom felt, how freedom tasted like. Like wow. I can’t even… It’s unexplainable. It feels like drinking water after walking the desert for two years without water. That’s how travel was when I first started. So that’s what it was.

Then after I tasted that freedom, I started traveling a lot more across Southeast Asia.

At that point in time, travel to me became a way for me to understand more about the world, experience other people’s reality, experience realities that I haven’t experienced growing up. It has been a way for me to connect with people and understand our shared humanity no matter where we come from. It’s been a very healing journey as well.

So a couple of reasons why I say these things is through traveling, I’m able to learn about how other people live their lives and feel a lot more grateful.

I actually went to several museums that show stories of war and stuff like that, and reading those stories, hearing, hearing the interviews from people who have lived through these torture camps. When I heard these things, I just couldn’t even process how I’m supposed to feel about it. I just felt lots of pain, sadness and then gratitude.

I’ve never felt that deep sense of gratitude before, living in Singapore. Being able to see their lives and also experience the strength of the survivors. That gave me a lot of gratitude for the life I have now and also the position I’m in. And it gave me a lot more desire to do what I can to create change in the world with what I have.

Another way is connecting with people from around the world, like a Vietnamese grandmother living on the fields of Vietnam, a Cambodian tuk tuk driver, kids along the way and just speaking to them, laughing with them, drinking alcohol with them, eating with them without any business agenda.

I feel like sometimes when we are so in our careers and growing up, at least I’ve been taught that everything you do needs to have an ROI, sometimes it feels so stuffy. When I’m traveling, I can do whatever I want and experience life however it is. And even if I have no real planned agenda, it feels like the universe gave me opportunities to experience emotions that I needed to feel at that moment. Whether it’s connection, love, gratitude, appreciation, sadness. All of those emotions. Like, tenfold.

Cheryl:

The reason why I wanted to segue to travel was because not only have I seen how much of a profound impact travel has had on you, the way you see the world, but also it has influenced your work.

I’ve seen it shape the content you create, the things that you share. I’ve seen it profoundly impact you. But I also see it as a version of your story as well.

Like when I think about it, I’m like, you know, Rae’s upbringing has told her to stay in Singapore and go to the traditional climb the corporate ladder here in Singapore.

But when I see you, I see you breaking out of that box of what a typical Singaporean is supposed to do. And I see you as quitting those boxes. That’s another reason why I really wanted to at least bring that to the conversation today, because I see so many different quit stories in your journey.

I’m really glad that we were able to touch on that part of your journey as well.

Rae:

Quitting the safety and the security of being in one place, right?

Quitting my own sense of self, which is someone is really a perfectionist, that’s a planner, that everything has to go according to plan. I needed to quit or let go of those identities when I started traveling because I was in a foreign place, the different schedule, I needed to figure things out from scratch.

I think that took a lot of letting go and quitting.

Cheryl:

As we’re starting to near the end of today’s conversation, usually I do a segment at the end where I will think of three or four questions completely on the spot. I have nothing prepared for this part. So it’s like rapidfire questions.

But before we do that, Rae, is there any final message that you want to relay to the audience today?

Rae:

Oh my goodness. Final message.

I would say that my final message to the audience would be that whether you see it or not, you have so much of a bigger, more infinite potential that you ever see.

But basically even if you’re not feeling it right now, you have infinite potential. I’m saying this from the journey, having learned it from the journey that I’ve been on, having experienced coincidences, what I see as luck or things that I never knew was going to happen in my life. And at the end of the day, you cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect the dots looking back.

Whatever you’re going through right now, just know that you’re supposed to be going through it and see how you can see it as an opportunity for you to grow, for you to learn, for you to grow a deeper relationship with your voice.

Because as I mentioned at the start of this conversation, your experience of the world is shaped by where you place your attention on. So choose where you place your attention on and always see the brighter side of things. And I think when you do that, you’re going to live a much more free life with magic and possibility.

Nails, ideal background music when working and household chores

Cheryl:

Okay, wonderful.

Now let’s segue into our rapid fire on the spot question. So question number one!

Rae:

Okay, I can sense that this is really rapid fire.

Cheryl:

So question number one, one thing I know you’ve been recently into is nails, like getting your nails done.

So I want to know if you had to choose just one solid color. Okay? No nail art, no patterns. You just had to choose one color on your fingernails for the rest of your life. What would it be?

Rae:

It would be shiny, pastel pink.

Cheryl:

Okay. Why?

Rae:

Because I think it makes my tanned skin look really good. Anyway, I feel a bit embarrassed that you’re saying I love nails because my nails are kind of shit right now, but it’s basically this color. This color.

Cheryl:

Ohhhh. It’s like a pale pink.

Rae:

I think it looks very nice on my tanned skin.

I’ve been recently into looking tanned.

Cheryl:

Nice. I like it! I like the tanned and the black hair combo.

Rae:

Thank you!

Cheryl:

I’ve been liking that a lot from Rae. Okay!

Again, these are completely on the spot, so I’m processing as we speak.

Okay, question number two is when you’re working, when you’re typing on your keyboard at home, what music, if any, is in the background?

Rae:

I usually go for instrumental upbeat chill music, which usually has no lyrics, but something that you can hear in a club and not too loud.

That’s what I do to get my brain active.

Cheryl:

And the third question is what is a fear, like not a deep fear, but like for example fear of heights. Nothing deep, nothing like a phobia.

Rae:

Oh my goodness. I mean, I really don’t like insects, like cockroaches. Insects.

Also, I really don’t like still water. When you go to a swimming pool and you’re stepping on still water, it’s been there for a while, it’s cold. Yeah. Like, I really, really don’t like it. It makes me feel very gross. Water has been there for a while, and it’s cold.

Cheryl:

Okay. Okay. Okay. Fourth and final question, what’s your least favorite household chore? Because I was going to ask would you rather do chores more or would you rather do cooking and cleaning more? But I’m just going to lump it together and ask you what’s your least favorite household thing to do if you had to choose?

Rae:

This is hard because to be honest, I don’t really do household chores. Things would change when I move out.

Cheryl:

What do you think would be your least favorite?

Rae:

Well, I think my least favorite will be cleaning the toilet.

Why? You relate?

Cheryl:

I hate all household chores. So if I had to pick one, I hate the drains. I hate getting my own hair out of the drain.

Rae:

Oh my God. Yeah, I really hate that. Yeah. I don’t want to do that.

Cheryl:

Usually in the shower, especially the shower drain, because my hair falls out. Usually my husband is the one doing it. I would never do it. He’s always like, why do you always have hair stuck in the shower drain?

I’m like, I’m not touching it.

Rae:

Awww, he’s so sweet. That’s sweet of him.

Yeah. That and the toilet.

Cheryl:

Both are gross. I hate both.

Thank you for participating in our random rapid fire questions. So now we’re officially nearing the end of our conversation for today. So, Rae, final, final, final question.

Where can people find you and how can people work with you?

Rae:

People can find me on Instagram and on LinkedIn. I share my most raw thoughts over there. And I would highly recommend everybody to subscribe to my newsletter, which I’m sure will be in the link somewhere or is in the link in my Instagram bio.

Cheryl:

You can find it in the show notes below.

Rae:

So I share emails via my newsletter once a week and sometimes I share things that I don’t want to share on Instagram so only my newsletter fans can read it.

There are stories inside on what it means to own your voice or sometimes travel stories and resources about owning your voice. So I highly recommend everybody to get into that newsletter to enter my thoughts.

Yeah, and you can work with me through coaching. I have my Own Your Voice Circle, which is a six months group, one-on-one coaching program to help rising leaders own their voice.

And if you’re listening to this podcast, you are a rising, if not a current leader, because I think all thought leaders are brave and are considered rising leaders.

So that’s why I do.

Cheryl:

Awesome. All righty. Well, that is all for us for today. Rae, thank you for being here, for being on the show, for sharing so many honest nuggets with the audience. And I think people can really feel it.It’s not just like nice words. It’s like people can actually feel the words that you’re saying.

I really appreciate you for being here and to everyone else listening who is watching this right now. Thank you for being here as well. And I’ll see you all in the next one. Bye everyone!

About Rae

Rae Fung is a speaker and coach who guides rising leaders to own their voice. She went from being the girl with low self-esteem who didn’t have a voice, to now having trained and spoken to over 5000+ people globally. With over a decade of experience as a communicator on stage and online, she considers it her mission to create a world where everyone feels safe to speak up and own their voice.